Karen Should Always Stay in Her Lane

Life Lesson Number 2: Karen Should Always Stay in Her Lane

Rooster and I witnessed an altercation the other day that I thought would make a great life lesson about minding your own business. A sketchy-looking guy walked his dog across the street from where we sat. He was the type of man who appeared to have seen better days. I estimate his age to be in his late 50s, but he might have been younger. A hard life can age a person. Jailhouse tattoos covered his arms. The sloppy half-done artwork spoke volumes that he had the work done behind bars. His dishwater blonde hair was tied in a ponytail that hung down his back. this guy was about to teach us life lesson number 2: Karen should always stay in her lane.

A fancy white car pulled to the curb, and the woman behind the wheel started filming the guy’s dog doing his business on the lawn. The man ignored her until she hung her head out the window and tapped her long red nails on the car frame.

Karen Should Always Stay in Her Lane

Excuse me, but you can’t let your dog do that here. The woman said.

“Who says I can’t?” the guy snarled.

“I do. It’s against the law.” The woman thought she’d made her point by making the dog’s bathroom habits a legal issue.

“I don’t know as I can stop him since he’s in the middle of doing his business.” The guy answered, not taking his eyes off the dog.

“That’s it. I’ve had enough. I have you on video, and I am calling the police.”

“Go ahead. You’d be doing me a favor. I’ve already done ten years and could use the rest.” The guy turned to the woman and smiled, revealing that he was missing his two front teeth.

“You’ve done ten years. For What?” There was now a nervous quality to the woman’s voice.

“For attempted murder, and next time I don’t plan to miss.”

The woman put her car in drive and laid rubber as she squealed away.

Karen Should Always Stay in Her Lane

The sketchy man reached into his pocket and pulled out a plastic bag. He covered his hand and picked up the dog poop before moving toward us. The trash can was located near where we sat. The guy tossed the poop in the can.

“I had the bitch going, didn’t I?” The man said, flashing his toothless grin.

“You could have given that woman a stroke. I bet her blood pressure shot up 20 points,” Rooster said.

“That’s sort of what I was aiming for. One less Karen in the world would be a good thing.” The guy took his dog and walked away.

I am not saying people should be lax about their pet’s bathroom habits. The point I am trying to make is that there are certain people in this world you shouldn’t mess with because some things are simply none of your business. Karen, stay in your lane.  

Who is Molly Shea?

Molly Shea is an accomplished fictional short story writer from Indiana who writes short stories and novels about a fictional town called Tecumseh.  To read more of her short stories and adventures, click here.

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